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2:16 am EDT 52°F (11°C) in Waddy, KY
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I’m not even going to talk about Michigan football tonight, other than to mention that when you lose at home to Minnesota, you’re fucked. Given what Penn State did to Ohio State, Michigan is about to get killed next week by the undefeated Nittany Lions.
Sometimes you run into those things that make you wonder if you’re in some kind of alternate universe, a “Twilight Zone” or a “Bizarro World.” Last night, I had one of those moments. I was heading north on U.S. Highway 221 in the southern part of McDowell County, North Carolina, fighting foggy weather, largely obeying speed limits, and minding my own business, when I saw a car parked in a pull-off up ahead of me. The pull-off was to my side (next to the northbound lane) of the highway, and the car was facing back toward me; from a distance, the logical assumption was that a county sheriff’s deputy was running radar there, in spite of the fact that it was 2:30 am on an almost-deserted road.
I knew I wasn’t speeding, as I was traveling at roughly the posted limit of 55 mph (88 km/h), so I just proceeded forward toward this car on the shoulder. As I got closer, I could tell that the car lacked any sort of police-vehicle lighting, meaning that it wasn’t a cop. What I saw next was the weird part: a slightly chubby thirty-something man was standing behind the white Pontiac with his pants down around his ankles, holding his (apparently erect) penis in his right hand and waving to me with his left! It was pretty obvious he was not just momentarily pulling off there to relieve himself at the roadside; I mean, he would not have been facing the road to do that. I don’t know what the hell he was doing there — masturbating in public for the thrill of it, trying to get himself some action, or what — but I would at least hope for his sake that I was the only person to drive by and catch him in the act. For my part, I just sped right past him and continued on toward Interstate 40, wondering what the hell the world is coming to.
This current load is going to take me to the Chicago area for a delivery at the ass-crack of dawn tomorrow morning. After that, I will be headed home again at the end of next week.